Page retired
Sorry, the Internet has become too nasty a place to keep this page active. The script I used to email the insult was vulnerable to (ab)use by spammers. I am leaving the page up for "old times sake".

Send a Shakespearean Insult!

It's simple to be rude:

1) Select one phrase from each column below
2) Enter the recipient's e-mail address
3) Select "Send mail" when you are through

An example message:"Thou cockered, beef-witted puttock!"

Thou artless bawdy beslubbering bootless churlish cockered clouted craven currish dankish dissembling droning errant fawning fobbing froward frothy gleeking goatish gorbellied impertinent infectious jarring loggerheaded lumpish mammering mangled mewling paunchy pribbling puking puny qualling rank reeky roguish ruttish saucy spleeny spongy surly tottering unmuzzled vain venomed villainous warped wayward weedy yeasty base-court bat-fowling beef-witted beetle-headed boil-brained clapper-clawed clay-brained common-kissing crook-pated dismal-dreaming dizzy-eyed doghearted dread-bolted earth-vexing elf-skinned fat-kidneyed fen-sucked flap-mouthed fly-bitten folly-fallen fool-born full-gorged guts-griping half-faced hasty-witted hedge-born hell-hated idle-headed ill-breeding ill-nurtured knotty-pated milk-livered motley-minded onion-eyed plume-plucked pottle-deep pox-marked reeling-ripe rough-hewn rude-growing rump-fed shard-borne sheep-biting spur-galled swag-bellied tardy-gaited tickle-brained toad-spotted unchin-snouted weather-bitten apple-john baggage barnacle bladder boar-pig bugbear bum-bailey canker-blossom clack-dish clotpole coxcomb codpiece death-token dewberry flap-dragon flax-wench flirt-gill foot-licker fustilarian giglet gudgeon haggard harpy hedge-pig horn-beast hugger-mugger jolthead lewdster lout maggot-pie malt-worm mammet measle minnow miscreant moldwarp mumble-news nut-hook pigeon-egg pignut puttock pumpion ratsbane scut skainsmate strumpet varlot vassal whey-face wagtail

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